I began overeating at age 9 and in 4th grade I was the largest kid in the classroom. It was then that a family member placed me on a liquid fad diet called The Cambridge Diet. At age 14 I learned to “not eat” in order to be thin (and popular). . At age 16 my best friend taught me how to stick my fingers down my throat after eating in order to lose weight. At age 19 I discovered the gym and that undereating combined with over exercising could give me that bikini body I’d always seen in magazines. . At age 40, I almost died as a result of my disordered eating (anorexia/bulimia) & had to seek intensive professional help. They gave me permission to eat…and eat I did! It was the most beautiful gift & I am SO GRATEFUL for that leg of my journey! I highly recommend at some point eating WHATEVER you want and LOVING yourself anyway, it’s amazing! . However, at 5’2” and 225lbs I couldn’t breathe & I didn’t know diabetes ran in my family and bammo…I became diabetic. I also didn’t know had a thyroid condition that necessitates the removal of gluten & dairy from my diet. So, that regular dose of pizza and ice cream was killing me. Drats. . To be clear, I didn’t clean up my diet and start exercising to lose weight. I was a sassy big girl and I loved the woman in red on the right in this picture, but unfortunately she was dying. . Losing the weight was a 2-year long process because being a nurse and a medical intuitive I knew harming myself with extreme measures was neither long-lasting (according to countless reputable studies) nor self-loving (according to ME). . So, I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum and I can be even more honest??? Finding the middle ground is HARD! I know every time I take a bite of gluten, dairy, or sugar I’m playing with fire and I do it ALL THE TIME! Also, I still occasionally binge throughout the day and when I do this I isolate. I tell myself I’m a horrible rotten person who doesn’t deserve to be consoled or supported and I HIDE. . What I know today is that I don’t ever deserve to be cut off from the support of people who care about me. What I know today is that I can’t expect perfection out of myself because what I know today is that perfection is the BIG LIE. . What I also know is that my 2-year journey to better health involved A LOT of support and A LOT of different modalities. I needed personal people I could tell my deep dark stuff to, I needed help from group weight modification & fitness companies because it was helpful to see others like myself share what was working. . I needed a GOOD DOCTOR who GETS IT! If your medical team is shaming, cynical or jaded about your ability to heal SWITCH TEAMS! . If you’re struggling with any of these areas, contact me for a reading today. I don’t claim to be a licensed therapist, medical doctor or fitness trainer but I know the struggle and I trust my Guides to help me point you in the right direction!