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WTF is Mercury in Retrograde?

March 26, 2017

WTF is Mercury in Retrograde? Ok baby astrology buffs here goes, and old astrology buffs listen up because I have a different take on this and if you just don’t care continue reading because this is at the very least going to be entertaining!

The next actual day of MIR (Mercury in Retrograde) is this coming Monday 12/19/16 but the effects last for days before and days after. I can already feel it today. I’m pushing for my brain to think in it’s usual way and it’s just not happening.

Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo so when it’s retrograde a Virgo might feel they’re losing their sh*t while a Gemini might actually be able to get their sh*t together. LOL! Ok, just kidding! It has very little to do with this. My Gemini Mother will be chiming in here in 3…2…1… (if you have a latent interest in astrology just know it can frequently be used to take passive aggressive pot shots at your loved ones!)

When planets face their usual direction everything is as it should be, when they go retrograde everything that planet rules (different aspects of being human) go awry. Mercury rules…wait…wtf does that all mean?

When planets go by the earth, think of the planet as riding a bicycle and when it goes by we’re staring at that planet’s booty as it pedals away. When a planet turns retrograde, the planet turns around, catches us staring at that jelly, winks and waves goodbye. The point is the planet is still moving away from us but it appears as though it is facing us and this actually makes us feel like we are the ones moving backwards. And, that is how we feel emotionally when this happens.

Mercury rules communication (if you’re me you forget this INCLUDES listening), logic, the mechanics of thinking, contracts, documents, transportation and all modes of transportation.

What this means? Any article you read on MIR will give you the basics on this saying miscommunications will occur like cray cray & will tell you to make sure your car is tuned up, computer/phone is backed up, DON’T sign anything, DON’T travel, in fact don’t drive or use anything electronic, don't communicate, in fact just get on a raft in the ocean and pray you end up on a deserted island far far away from all ways of being a human being on planet earth. WILSONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!! (can we all take a moment to shudder at the scene where Tom Hanks had to knock his own tooth out with that rock???)

This, I feel is complete BULLSHIT…

Here’s what you can really do. Make plans, live your glorious life while knowing that an extra amount of flexibility will be needed during this time. Expect the unexpected. If you’re traveling give extra cushion for delays. Bring a thicker book for that extra 4hrs of layover. And, notice I said book, don't expect your Kindle to be on fleek during this time. Don’t cut it close. And, shouldn’t we all be living that way anyway? What’s with everyone rushing around cutting everything down to minutes and seconds? SLOW DOWN! Or, Mercury will bite you in YOUR jelly!

Sign that contract but know it might get all screwed up but you know what? Maybe that thing you think you so desperately need a contract for isn’t for you and this helps to save you from yourself. And, the same goes for miscommunications, maybe something needs to be brought out into the light for unexpected healing to occur? Just a thought.

The best way to use MIR is to clean out your life. Go through closets, drawers, the trunk of your car, etc. You’ll find this to be much easier during MIR. This is also the best time to start a new creative endeavor. Like BLOGGING, LOL, ok, I’m starting my website this weekend so that’s why you’re reading this in the format of a shitty standard facebook post because I haven’t completed it yet. If you’ve even come this far God bless you!

I’ll also tell you that in my experience many electronic glitches during MIR are temporary. I recommend not falling into the thinking of my “_______” is broken, especially on Monday. Many times during MIR you’ll call MIS or apple or a TV repairman etc., and they usually will not be able to find what’s wrong because it’s just Mercury playing tricks on you so don't pay the $200 insurance fee for that replacement iPhone just yet. Give it a day or two and most of this stuff will resolve. If it’s something like your car of course go to a mechanic and this is a good time to ask yourself if you have AAA or some sort of towing/mechanic service through your car insurance which once again you should have anyway. If you have a flip phone, a “beeper”, an “answering machine” or a giant ass tv that looks like a big square box (not a flat screen) then your problem isn’t MIR, your problem is that your cheap ass needs to replace that shit!

Also, here’s one lesser spoken about aspect of MIR ,which I find to be very accurate for me. It’s a time for pining for what might have been. It’s a time to look back at what happened and to analyze that from a different perspective. Ok, that sounds great right? How that plays out is you will find yourself dreamily obsessing over your exes. And, when you find yourself on your ex lover’s facebook (only because MIR has caused the block they put on you to malfunction) tread very lightly my friend because while trying to click on the little “x” to close out that picture of them and their new flame snorkeling in the Galapagos you might find that you’ve accidentally hit “like” instead!

And, finally this is a time to think outside the box. Your usual thinking won’t work here. That’s why we feel mentally muddy, because we’re trying so hard to think in our usual manner while Mercury begs us to try on some new ways of seeing the world. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could always use a new perspective, and hopefully this information has given you one as well.

 

 

 

 

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